Last week I wrote about Knowing Thyself, this week, I'm writing about BEING YOURSELF.
Two questions I have been pondering this year -- call them common themes if you will:
- How can I be my true, authentic self, in all social-environments?
- How will this mentality impact me as a person?
To say I enjoy coffee is an understatement. If you follow me, and have been for a while, you undoubtedly know I enjoy a good cup of joe. I even call this blog (and most of the content I put out) Josh's Daily Brew.
Now, you may thinking, how did this metamorphous come up with that name and how does it relate to living an optimal life and 'being yourself.' I believe, similar to a perfect chemex pour-over coffee rig, this blog is here to not only filter out the noise around biohacking, health and fitness -- but, it is a portal that gives me the chance to be ME.
my theory behind 'being yourself'
When you be yourself, you are essentially allowing Natures Filter to work it's magic.
What do I mean by this? When you are your true, authentic self, you are naturally filtering out the toxic individuals/environments that don't serve you, from the ones that promote growth and happiness. When you are trying to please everyone and make everything work exactly like you hope it would, you are simply setting yourself up for failure.
When you are trying to please someone you clearly don't enjoy the company of, you are inviting him/her into your realm. You are allowing a toxic individual into your space and more often than not 2 things happen.
- You will find it hard to get rid of this person
- When you do try and avoid contact there will be friction which will cause more toxicity and the cycle will continue
It can be overwhelming for many to begin the journey of a conscious life -- a life that involves questioning everything and allowing the power of presence to take control.
There is just so much crap out there. Starting this blog, the YouTube channel and deciding to make my Instagram page a "full-time job," as Gary Vaynerchuck likes to put it, has allowed me to express myself in ways that are unique and aligned with who I am.
You see, at one stage, I felt I was living two separate lives. One being the guy who would satisfy the needs of his friends by always getting unconsciously shit-faced (even if I didn't exactly want to) most of the week to avoid life's not-so trivial problems. The other, being "Bulletproof" -- following a lifestyle that I actually enjoyed; regular exercise, eating well and placing self-care at the top of my to-do list.
This is not to say I don't enjoy sinking a few tequilas with my mates -- but, it certainly is not at the top of my priorities in life.
You would think that being my true, authentic self, would have dissipated all existing relationships with my friends and left me in a spot where I would have to start from scratch again (which I wouldn't mind), however, the complete opposite happened. Instead, subjectively I feel more alive than ever before and I have strong relationships with those around me.
In the words of a spiritual hippie that's dropped a couple of MD's at a music festival, "I'm Woke." Jokes aside -- yes, I still have many, many down moments -- but, they seem to frizzle out before any major self-destructive thought patterns take control.
Being your true, authentic self, can be a scary thing for many. You can tell who are the people that are trapped in two diverging worlds and the ones who are simply present -- dancing in the moment.
Don't get me wrong, this post is not a judgment by any means. It's not me saying "wow I've finally found my purpose and I know what I want in life so everyone else is below me." In fact, I'm in a difficult situation. Following your passion is not always easy -- life has dropped a number of F-BOMBS on me the past year. But where do I see a difference? The way I get right fucking back up.
I have outlined some useful tactics and tools I have implemented to aide in my discovery of "being myself" below:
tactics and tools
- GO FIRST: I got this amazing piece of advice from Gaby Reece in Tools of Titans, Tim Ferriss' book on the tactics and routines of world-class performers and billionaires. Simply put, it means going first in social settings. Be the first to smile at a stranger. Be the first to put your hand out to shake someones hand. Be first to raise your hand if you don't understand. Just Go First.
- MEDITATION: I credit meditation with getting me through the year -- it's been a rough ride, but a good one indeed. Think of meditation as that meta-awareness that dabbles in your subconscious and is there when you least expect it (but need it the most). Try Headspace.
- THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK: this book was an eye-opener and possibly the most relatable book to a millennial such as myself. You can read the post I wrote on it by clicking here.
- SAY NO: Derek Sivers said that if it isn't a Hell Yeah then it should be a Hell NO! Saying no more often will allow you to focus on the activities that allow you to express yourself.