“The attempt to escape from pain, is what creates more pain.”
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I recently revisited a YouTube video by one of my mentors and heroes in the world of spirituality and trauma: Dr Gabor Mate.
Spiritual Bypassing
Dr. Gabor Mate describes a concept called "Spiritual Bypassing." It's a precise way of explaining a human phenomenon that I have failed to put into words. Spiritual Bypassing is best described using an example.
Let's take a woman named Karen. Karen can't say no to anyone. She is a type-A personality that grinds 24/7. She does immense spiritual work in the form of meditation at least an hour a day. Yet, she can't understand why she is unhappy and filled with disease.
There is an underlying trauma embedded in her soul. She is bypassing all her pain through hard work and superficial spiritual practices instead of seeing her pain as a result of not saying no and being with her difficulty.
I sincerely hope I have not done Dr Gabor Mate's explanation of spiritual bypassing an injustice. Therefore, the best thing to do is always to watch it yourself.
Dietary Bypassing
Inspired by the term Spiritual Bypassing, I have crafted a concept: Dietary Bypassing -- when a person uses new dietary and lifestyle changing measures as a mechanism to superficially overcome pain and trauma.
I'm the perfect example of Dietary Bypassing: I thought losing nearly 80lbs of fat would make me happy. It did not. It may have given me joy for short bursts -- but it did not give me what I needed: inner-peace. What has given me inner-peace has been resolving childhood trauma.
I must highlight: this is not, by no means whatsoever, saying that fat-loss and lifestyle changes are bad. I encourage this wholeheartedly. In fact, changing your biology is the stepping stone to changing your life. But, don't get so caught up in your success on the physical frontier that you forget the root of the reason you're where you are in the first place.
When you integrate your entire being as one entity and immerse yourself in all the possibilities that exist, what you get is a rich, purpose-driven life.